Tag: real talk

contributed by Sammie Jo We all know that person. The person who stumbles upon some magnificent fortune that the rest of us haven’t been able to attain and then proceeds to let everyone else know how lucky he or she is. This “fortune” doesn’t have to come in the form of cold, hard cash. It can be anything from a new car, to a new house, to a new job, to an engagement. I mean, sure, we all get excited when something wonderful happens to us. If you don’t, you’re weird! I was incredibly happy when I got my first big-girl job and I posted an update about it on Facebook and I called everyone who cares about me and I let them know. Done. But then there are those people who…

contributed by Beautiful PainApparently, it has become a problem for me or any other Black woman in particular to be an independent woman; call me confused, but I thought I was being raised to learn how to survive and take care of myself. Hell, weren’t we all raised and instilled with that desire? Seems to me that being an independent Black woman is being treated as an epidemic, and quite frankly, I think more women need to fall victim to this “problem.” Honestly though, I’m a bit confused; see men sit here and complain that all they keep finding are women who are gold diggers, lazy and only want them for their money. Yet, when they find a woman that wants to spend her own money or buy her own things,…

contributed by Sammie Jo     I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past twenty three years (Soon to be twenty four – yikes!) and one of the lessons that always sticks with me is that point blank, I want what’s bad for me. Or should I say, if it’s good for me, I don’t want it? If I’m at a restaurant, chances are I’m not going to drink water with lemon. If it’s a week night, may I have a sweet tea, please? If it’s a weekend, I’ll take a Bud Lite, por favor. If I’m hungry after a long day at work, the last thing I want is a salad with grilled chicken and a side of light ranch (Don’t you hate it when you go grab…

contributed by Beautiful Pain Are we as women the reason to blame for our being single? I mean think about it, we constantly complain that we end with the wrong man, that all the good ones are taken. After each failed relationship, we angrily declare that no man will hurt us again and the next guy will be put to the test to make certain that he isn’t like that last one. We hold onto this resolve, and wear our badge of wounded anger on our shoulder as a form of protection; until the next man. We meet this man who we feel is Mr. Wonderful and we give him our time and attention.  We let him into our mind and give him our body and tell all our friends that…

  Relationships: One to ManyWhat About your friendsGrowing up my mom used to remind me that one is a reflection of the people they associate themselves with. Not saying that you can't be different or not participate in similar acts, but to others outside your circle, the worst actions are presumed for everyone.For instance, if one of your friends is hoe, and others are aware of her friendly acts, people assume that everyone in your circle is a hoe too. People take things at face value instead of finding what's really going on.  A friendship is just like any relationship: it requires communication, time, empathy, and sacrifice. It is a two way street; give and take. Me and my friends love each other like sisters and we care about each…

Relationships: One to ManyBoundaries                So with all my relationship experience one thing I do know is MEN HAVE ISSUES WITH CREATING BOUNDARIES.  When an “ex” is no longer in the picture, she/he needs to know their place. Ex means; old, no longer, left out, TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. So with that being said, an en ex should not be included in the present relevant picture. Honesty is the best policy in these instances because sometimes the “other” person does not know they are over stepping their boundaries. In every relationship communication is key. For example, my friend’s boyfriend is in a picture with another girl that is a “friend”. This “friend” likes my friend’s boyfriend. So my friend has asked him about the picture, you know like when was this picture taken,…