Are You “Sexmatized”?

Are You “Sexmatized”?

Pinks

Article by Miss T.N. King

Are you easily controlled by sex or are you easily in control of sex? Every day I see a growing amount of men and women becoming controlled by sex or “sexmatized”–the state of letting sex or the idea of having it control your life through your decisions, emotions & standards. Most people have been sexmatized at least once in their life. Below are some common, but not all, sexmatized symptoms:
1. If you’ve stayed in an expired or loveless relationship/situationship just because “the sex was good” or you’re sexually attached to that man.
Common Thoughts: “I can’t leave him, the sex is way too good. I’m not going to let that go for another woman to enjoy!” or “I lost my virginity to him, I’m attached and can’t leave him.”
2. A lot of women think they can change who a man is or what his intentions are by having sex with him. They subconsciously try to prove their worth and value to him through sex. If you’ve ever used sex as a way to prove or show that you’re worthy of monogamy, a date, phone call, respect, love, relationship, or just anything period–you’ve been sexmatized.
Common Thoughts: “I’m going to put it on him so good, he’s not going to want anyone else but me.” “Dang, why isn’t he pursuing me? I bet if I do this *insert sexual act/trick*, he’s going to be all in my face!” or even “I want him to be my boyfriend, I should probably have sex we him then.”
3. If you ever compromised your standards or worth for sex. 
Common Thoughts: “I usually don’t sleep with men that I’m not in a relationship with, but I’ll make him an exception for him; plus we said we made an agreement that we could only sleep with each other.” “I usually don’t do this, but *inserts exception you made for a guy*. The exception could be sex on first date, sex without a relationship, sex before marriage, one night stand, etc.
4. If you ever had sex with a “random” purely because you needed “some”. That random could be a stranger, an ex, or a guy you’re really not interested in–you just want to use his male tool as an object to fulfill your physical needs.
Common Thoughts: “Wow! It’s been 4 months, I can’t function like this. I need to get some immediately.” So you call up the “random” and arrange the booty call. And if that “random” is an ex or old sex buddy, you try to justify for actions by thinking, “Well technically I’m not increasing my number, so what I’m doing isn’t THAT bad.” FYI: You may not be increasing your “number”, but you’re increasing and strengthening the bond of an unhealthy soul tie.

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A Queen has complete control over her mind, body, and emotions. She doesn’t let lust and sexual urges dictate her actions or standards. She can never be sexmatized because she has self-control. She knows her worth lies in between her head, not her legs. She will never compromise her standards to please a peasant who really has no intentions of becoming her King.

I am in no position to judge or throw stones. No one is perfect, and most of us have been sexmatized at least once, including myself. But once you understand the POWER of sex, you wouldn’t just have it with anyone. I don’t care how “unemotional” and “unbothered” you think you are. Soul ties are real, just like STDs and pregnancies.  You create a chemical and spiritual bond with every person you have sex with, and you risk in taking their DNA & diseases.

I have been abstaining from sex for the past 2 1/2 years. If I can be completely honest with you, when my last relationship ended, nowhere in my mind did I desire or think that I’ll be entering the “Sahara Desert”. I thought I would get into another relationship soon, fall in love, have all the sex I want, and live happily ever after.  My standard was: I must be in an official relationship with a man before I have sex with him.  Then I found myself occasionally getting sexmatized because I began basing my desire to get in a relationship to purely have sex and ‘consistent D’. One day I thought: “Since when do I let sex be the reasoning for my desires? If I want just sex, I can easily call someone in my phone for that.”

To read the rest of this article click here.

Follow @MissTNKing

Reasons You Stay Even Though You’re Unhappy

Reasons You Stay Even Though You’re Unhappy

Pinks

Georgia’s Juice

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We all know that one couple. The couple that is always miserable, whether it’s arguing all the time, talking bad about each other, or cheating there is just always something. They b*tch and moan all the time, but no matter what, they will never leave. And when we as friends suggest they breakup, they go into defense mode stating, “Why would I leave him/her? Why should I leave?” Instead of us telling them all the reasons they should leave, we normally just sit back and listen to what they have to say. After they go on and on they tend to end with, “I mean…at the end of the day, I do love them.” The truth is, hidden behind that statement, they really mean, “I’m afraid of being alone.” Here are ten reasons people stay in a relationship even though they are not happy.

1. Scared of being alone

This may be one of the biggest reasons. You don’t want to leave your significant other because you don’t want to be alone. Loneliness is actually a state of mind. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. And after all, it’s better to be alone than with a partner that makes you feel lonely.

2. Don’t want to start over

Personally, this is my favorite. I just don’t want to start over again. You’ve put in years, work, and dedication to trying to make your relationship work and to see it fall apart and have to start over again is heartbreaking. Some people would rather just stay in an unhealthy relationship than to have to start all over again at square 1.

3. Guilt

When you stay with someone out of guilt, you end up hurting yourself and them. Your partner will soon sense you distancing yourself away from them and it will slowly tear them apart. Instead of trying not to hurt them, you should just break up and get it over with.

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4. Don’t want to prove others right

Everyone knows you two were headed down this road and because your pride is too big, you don’t want to give them the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.” Sometimes you just have to suck up your pride, say f*ck everyone else, and do what’s right for you!

To sip some more of Georgia’s Juice & read the rest of this article click here

70% of Men Under 34 Are NOT Married…?

70% of Men Under 34 Are NOT Married…?

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Found this article while roaming my Facebook timeline & I had to share!

70% of Men Under 34 Are NOT Married – Because They Have SENSE

by Lincoln Anthony Blades of thisisyourconscience.com

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Earlier today I read an article called “70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married” that is based on a new book by Janice Shaw Crouse titled “Marriage Matters.” As someone who is actively interested in analyzing the correlation between personal finance and relationship status, I quickly clicked on the link to read a stat-based analysis on how crushing economic and employment factors have delayed serious dating and marriage – but what I got was incoherent babble from a woman who is criminally out-of-touch. According to Crouse, the reason so many men under 35 are unmarried is because we live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” – which may account for some men, but for many dudes is just complete and utter BULLSHIT. 70% of men under 34 are NOT married because they have SENSE.

Let me make this crystal clear: Many good men WANT to be married, but if a man’s financial situation is not RIGHT (by his standards), then he will NOT seriously entertain the idea of getting hitched. It is intellectually lazy to assert that just because young men aren’t asking women to spend the rest of their lives with them that they would rather sit one, play XBox and have random ass sidepieces all over them. In fact, a better term for it is “Elite-Daily intellectualism” where you just assert that “young people today don’t know HOW to love” as if developing deep-feelings for someone and engaging in a relationship is akin to learning neurophysiology. So let’s chop this stupid fable once and for all.

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When people compare how relationships operated in the past to how present-day relationships work, there’s far too much that will be lost in translation if one refuses to take social changes into account. Back in the days, a man who wanted to marry his wife had to ask her and find a place for them to live off of his lone salary (which was most places). Higher-education was NOT a prerequisite for most jobs, so his uneducated ass was not at any significant disadvantage on the job market. And, if that man was a baby-boomer, he got to take part in the greatest era of economic growth the western world has ever seen. So to compare his checklist (propose, save for wedding, find a career in abundant job-market, find affordable house, buy one car) was NOTHING like the typical checklist that young men go through today (find engagement ring, save for said ring or buy ring on credit, propose, find a career in bleak job-market, find home in unaffordable housing market, figure out rising transportation costs, figure out how to pay down school loans, figure out to pay down consumer debt, try to find at least $10,000 for cheap wedding, etc.). If you think that EVERY man under 34 is in the position to do ALL of that RIGHT now, you are just wilfully ignorant.

For the rest of this great article click here

thisisyourconscience.com

Follow @lincolnablades

Lip Service: The Love Lounge

Lip Service: The Love Lounge

Corals

Ladies, if you’re looking for love and want to network with other professional women doing the same then you don’t want to miss:

the love lounge flyer

 

The Love Lounge

Sunday, March 29, 4- 7pm

Paschal’s Restaurant, 180 Northside Dr SW, Atlanta, GA 30313

“Need some inspiration to believe in LOVE? Join us at the Love Lounge to hear the untold stories of love from our panel of  WERKing women: Patrice C. Washington, Lakia Brandenburg, Nina Brown and Ardre Orie! This will be a life changing event that will prepare you to create a life of LOVE!”

For more details & to purchase tickets click here

TheSingleWivesClub.com

Follow @TheSingleWivesClub on IG & Twitter

Reasons To Be Happy You’re Single on Valentine’s Day

Reasons To Be Happy You’re Single on Valentine’s Day

Pinks

February 14th is around the corner and you may be like me & be without a “traditional” Valentine -I say traditional because when I’m single on this love holiday I’m my own & my friends Valentine. But if you choose to be the little Morton’s salt girl, Georgia’s Juice has several reasons to be happy you’re single! Enjoy!

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Single on Valentine’s Day? Well, you might want to count your blessings. Many couples can’t wait until February 14 to see what gifts they get and others dread having to buy gifts. If you don’t have a Valentine this year that’s okay, there are plenty of reasons why you should be happy that you don’t.

  1. No pressure

Girls, you don’t have to worry about if have to buy your boyfriend a gift and guys you don’t have to stress yourself on what to buy. Not having a Valentine eliminates the pressure and stress of what to buy or what to do for the evening. Simply with no significant other, you don’t have this stress anymore.

  1. You can hang out with your single friends

Being single on Valentine’s Day gives you the time to hang out with your other single friends. For girls this might mean movies and ice cream at the house and for the guys, this gives you a chance to catch up with the fellas.

  1. You won’t have to worry about a heart break

We all know that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day filled with love, candy, and roses but let’s face it, it can quickly go downhill. If you don’t have a Valentine then you don’t have to worry about arguing if something doesn’t go right, and you know you can’t get dumped because you’re already single.

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  1. You can avoid disappointment

If you don’t get you that 6ft. teddy bear you wanted on Valentine’s Day then you have nothing to worry about because you’re single. Guys? This means you don’t have to be disappointed if your girl didn’t get you a gift at all. Since you’re single, you can buy yourself exactly what you want, no disappointments.

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Like gorgeous new shoes!!

 

To read the rest of this article & sip some more of Georgia’s Juice click here

Should You Move In?

Should You Move In?

Pinks

#JuiceMonday

Georgia’s Juice

 

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Living together before marriage is controversial topic for some. While some are strongly opposed to the idea of moving in with a significant other before marriage, others think it’s a fundamental part of a relationship. For those of you who are seriously considering taking that next step in your relationship and moving in with your significant other, there are a few things to take into consideration.

Are you doing it for the convenience factor?

A lot of the time in relationships, it gets to the point that one of you is spending most of your time at the other person’s place and it makes more sense just to move in together. While that may be true, don’t let that be the main reason you make the big move. You need to be sure that living together is something you’re ready for and a step that both of you are ready to take.

Are you nervous?

It’s okay to be nervous. It’s a big decision that needs to be thought through and if you’re not the least bit nervous about it, that may be a sign that you’re more interested in playing house than joining lives with another person. Building a life with another person is a journey in itself and it requires a lot of work and sacrifice. The sooner you come to this realization, the easier the transition will be.

To read the rest of this article click here

Follow Georgia’s Juice on twitter @GeorgiasJuice

The New Side Chick

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My sister sent me this article from Miss T.N. King

I think most if not all women, especially in my generation (early 20’s to mid-late 30’s) can most definitely relate to her tale & swallow the truth of situations we may be in right now. I know I’ve been there, not too long ago actually. Have you?

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing.

I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to him.  I know I sound a bit harsh, but even I had to realize my then-reality for what it was.  Simply put: you are not and will never be his Queen.

The truth hurts, but it can only make you stronger.

I would like to open up about my experience with this one particular guy where I found myself playing the new side chick role.  I will refer to him as “Jake”.

From the moment Jake and I met, we immediately clicked.  I could talk to him about anything. We would laugh and joke on the phone for hours and help each other out.  He was so supportive, encouraging, and respectful.  We had such a beautiful and strong friendship.  I was attracted to his mind, personality, and character.  However, it was the magnetic chemistry and connection we had that made me fall for him.  He became my best friend.

I thought this was it. He could possibly be the ‘one’.

We began talking every day, multiple times throughout the day.  As time went on and our feelings for each other grew stronger, our actions began to reflect a “more-than-friend-on-the-verge-to-a-relationship” type thing.

At this point, I fell for him.  I had given my heart to a man who was not mine.

 

To read the rest of this article click here

Also, check out part 2 The New Side Chick Part II: But I Can’t Leave Him

Check out misstnking.com

Follow her @MissTNKing & @misstnking on Instagram

The Misuse of The Inbox

Pinks

by Georgia’s Juice

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Women are beginning to feel like we are on eharmony without ever signing up for it! Is it just me or does it seem like facebook is morphing into a free version of blackpeoplemeet.com? After all, why pay for a dating site when you can inbox girls for free on facebook and instagram? Yet, the misuse goes beyond solicited messages from men trying to hit on women, its become the landing place for everything that’s “hard to say”. Instead of having the guts or courage to say something in person, we’ve become a generation that would rather just send you a “DM”. Have you experienced “The Misuse of The Inbox”?

To sip more of Georgia’s Juice click here

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Signs You’re The Side Chick

Pinks
From Georgia’s Juice

How does the old saying go? Love is blind. Yes, love is blind and as women, we often find ourselves in situations where men will look us right in the eyes and lie to us. And the worst part? Most of the time, we’re so blinded by infatuation that we fall for it. That is when we unknowingly become a side chick.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s differentiate here. There are two types of side chicks. The ones who knowingly sign up to be the side chick and are fully aware that the guy they are seeing has a main girl or wife and are willing to play their position. Then you have the woman who is lied too. She would never consent to being a side chick and is unknowingly thrown into that life.

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There are signs, however, that may help you come to the truth about your situation. The first sign is your intuition. If you feel in your gut that something is not right, you need to trust that feeling.

It’s one thing when a man is upfront about his situation and gives you the option to play your position but it’s stooping to a whole new level of coward to lie about your status. Sad to say, some of us women are side chicks out here and don’t even know it! Its nothing new though… R Kelly use to sing about it back in the 90′s in songs like “Double Life” but I’ll save all that for #TBT

Not sure if you’re the side chick? Here are 7 signs to help clarify things:

1.) He doesn’t post photos with you on social media – I know that this seems trivial and it just might be if nothing else on this list applies to you. But don’t ignore the signs! The reality is that now a days, social media plays a huge part in everyones lives. If you’re not present on his timeline, than you’re probably not a real factor in his life! It’s the sad truth.  Also, be skeptical of the men who don’t have social media!

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2.) He doesn’t invite you to his house – This is a huge sign! A huge red flag! A complete stop sign to turn around and run in the other direction. My advice to all women… make sure that you’ve been to his house on several occasions before sleeping with him.

3.) He doesn’t introduce you to friends or family – If you don’t know his people, you don’t exist.

4.) He doesn’t answer his phone after a certain time – This is a sign that you are on a “do not disturb” schedule. iPhones even have a feature that will automatically send calls to voicemail making it a lot easier for him to be sneaky.

 

If you want to read the rest of this article & sip some more of Georgia’s Juice click here

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Nothing against Scandal, I just thought this was funny! lol!

“Post it so I know it’s real”

Reds

I can’t blame Drake lyrics for this but I kinda wish I could…

Is nothing private these days? We all follow (& some of y’all are) those people who have every emotion, every promotion, every pitfall, every ignorant or profound thought & every waking moment of their day plastered all over their social media accounts.

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What makes it worse is the denial!! “I didn’t think it would cause all that! People just need to mind they business & quit lurking/stalking my page/being thirsty!” Really. -__- Unless you were unaware of how this social media thing works: whatever you post will show up on our timelines, whether we want to see it or not. Whatchu want us to do, close our eyes to the tea you’re spilling all over the world wide web? Girl please, you wanted the attention which is why you posted it instead of calling & venting to the bestie or grabbing a diary (or diary app, I’m sure they’ve made one) & scribbling your thoughts there.

While my job deals with digging into peoples lives to get information & sharing that with others, I  personally am not about that life. It’s not because I fear others judgement or I have something to hide, it’s because my personal life is shared on a need to know basis -if I didn’t share it, you obviously don’t need to know!

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I wasn’t always this way though. I distinctly remember in college discussing relationships with my friends & we all agreed, “If your man ain’t claiming you on social media there’s a problem!!” & “Ooh girl, they put they’re ‘In a Relationship’ on Facebook! You know it’s real!” I’ve always preferred dating more low-key guys but always felt some type of way that they isn’t plaster me all over their Facebook pages -that they barely even used. My senior year in college a guy I was dating explained to me his reasoning, “There’s a difference between private & a secret. Our relationship is private because this relationship is between two people, you & me”. Nowadays it’s hard to tell if a guy is just telling you what you want to hear or truly being genuine, either way I feel that’s a major key to a successful relationship & still follow it to this day.

Speaking of, I recently saw this article on Georgia’s Juice & she made some similar & very valid points I had to share with y’all.

7 Reasons I Don’t Post My Relationship On Social Media

People always ask me who am I dating and why am I not married yet. Usually these questions are accompanied with the connotation that something must be wrong with me since I am still single. The reality is my real reality isn’t posted all over social media.

I’ve dated, been in a relationship, had my heartbroken and went through an ugly custody battle all without sharing any of it on social media.

The most challenging part about it is being with someone who you truly love and care about that doesn’t understand why you don’t profess your love for them on social media. It seems like in 2014, people value what you do on social media more so than what you do in real life!

In my experience posting about your relationship only causes a lot of issues, here are the first seven I could think of. Feel free to leave any I forgot to mention below.

1. It Gives Haters and Frenemies an opportunity to “prey” on your significant other – Once you upload an “usie” and you’ve tagged your “bae” your followers go follow and friend request your new boo. Now they are looking through photos of him/her making an assessment of who they are, trying to find something bad to say about them and finally some may go to the extent of flirting with them online to try and get them to engage!

2. It Makes Public What Is Meant To Be Private – In my opinion romance is one of those things that is meant to be private! Of course, to each their own, but it just seems that once you change your relationship status the force of Facebook is against you.

3. It promotes drama! Yes the drama, it gets deep and messy! – Even if you only have a few Facebook friends, You never know who is friends with your Facebook friends or who might take a screenshot of something you post and share it. I knew Facebook was a hot mess when I seen an old friend from my childhood posting photos with my friend from high school’s baby daddy. I didn’t pick up the phone to talk about it but later on in my timeline the two girls were going back and forth! Needless to say, if she would have kept her relationship off of Facebook they may have made it! #DoinTooMuch

To read the rest of the article & sip some more of Georgia’s Juice click here

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone for what they do with their personal social media pages. You have every right to post whatever you want, whenever you want & how often you want. Just don’t be surprised when people break out the popcorn to watch your Young & The Restless.

 

You Betta Say That!!!

Pinks

I was feeling some type of way last week & one of my Facebook friends posted this. I would be remiss if I didn’t share it with you lovelies here. Enjoy!

 

If you can’t see the video click here