No More Necole Bitchie?

No More Necole Bitchie?

Reds

Today is a bittersweet day for this blogger & many others inspired by a sassy, big haired, gorgeous gal with the bitchie-est blog on the web! Today Necole Bitchie announced she will no longer run NecoleBitchie.com and is pursuing her true passion.

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For 7 years NecoleBitchie.com has kept us informed on all the hottest celeb news & gossip. For me there was no Media Take Out, if Necole didn’t post it I didn’t care. I loved that her posts were opinionated & would read celebs for days for their poor choices, but still had a level of class. She had boundaries, not a whole lot, but enough to clearly separate NecoleBitchie.com from a trash gossip site.

A part from being a successful blogger, Necole inspired many with her life story of losing her parents, being homeless hoping from couch to couch of family members all trying to pursue her dream of growing her blog into a huge following and making a name for herself. I followed her site for years but I recalled first reading her story online & that same day I realized I had no excuses! I had told people for months I wanted to start an online magazine but had yet to put anything together. Then in 2011 I read her interview with Black Enterprise magazine & it motivated me to not just have a website but build brand and not be afraid to be the face of that brand. I haven’t had the chance to meet her (yet!) but she was my biggest & most constant inspiration for what you see here!!

Necole has inspired countless women through public speaking, live panels and always seeming like your homegirl that always has the tea. So to my blogger bestie (in my head), I wish you all the best on your future endeavors!! You’re a force to be reconned with & I can’t wait to see what you do next!

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Read Necole’s touching goodbye here

Lip Service:The Essence Of… #BBLM

Lip Service:The Essence Of… #BBLM

Corals

 The Essence Of… A Brand & Blog Launch Mixer

Self Love. Relationships. Career.

Saturday, April 18, 7-9pm

Kiwi Vintage Boutique

448 Ralph David Abernathy, Atlanta, GA 30312

Ladies and Gents, here’s an opportunity for you to mingle and network with New York-based lifestyle, fashion and beauty journalist Essence Gant and Erica Dias, co-founder of The B Firm PR and creator of the brunch series Erica’s Table of 20. These two women have combined their talents to host The Essence Of… Brand & Blog Launch Mixer” along with a panel of other strong, educated women to discuss self love, relationships and career goals while also inspiring and empowering each other! Did I mention there’ll also be yummy cocktails courtesy of Tiny’s Tequila?

For more details and to purchase tickets click here

Follow @TheEssenceOf_ and @FashionEd101


Are you afraid of heartbreak?

Pinks

contributed by Nique

You may look at that question and say, “Hell yeah, who wants their heart to be broken?” Of course no one does. But I’m not asking if you LIKE your heart being broken. I’m asking if you’re afraid of it. Are you passing up guys/girls because you suspect that the only inevitable conclusion with this person is heartbreak? Are you ending relationships too quick because you think there is no way things will ever get better and a quick escape is the best escape? Are you sticking to your significant other like white on rice because you feel like as soon as you let that person out of your sight, they will surprisingly become the clumsiest person in the world and then miraculously trip and fall “into” the first female they set eyes on, or the first man that notices your girl will lose their balance and “fall” into said girl (if ya know what I mean)? If one or all of these are true, then yes, you are afraid of heartbreak. A big ol’ scaredy cat.

The next question I pose to you is, why? Have you not had your heart broken before? Did you die from it? Did you perish? Did it inconvenience your existence on this Earth in any way? No, it didn’t. You moved on, either by learning to enjoy yourself or moved on to someone else. But then you create posts on every social media website about how “I’m a survivor”, “You didn’t break me, I’m still standing”, “I’ve been through the storm, but I made it” and a host of other statuses that lets the world know that you’ve just been through a traumatic, personal ordeal and you made it through. And then your relationship status goes from “In a Relationship” to “Single”, the famous indicator that all of those vague and subliminal statuses were about the end of a relationship, and not the fact that you just suffered a REAL issue and made it, like you know, cancer or something you could actually die from. So again, I ask why are you so afraid of it. Unless God has destined you and your soul mate to meet as soon as you become old enough to date and you guys get married and live happily ever after, then understand that heartbreak is inevitable.

And the MOST important thing to understand about the inevitability of heartbreak is that you should never experience it in the same way. You shouldn’t be as devastated as you were the last time someone broke your heart. You shouldn’t cry as long as you did when the last person walked out of your life. It’s meant to get easier. It’s meant to aid in preparing you for the world and the many types of people that you can encounter. It’s meant to humble you enough that when you do finally meet your “person”, you will be able to appreciate them all the more because you know what the world really has to offer. If you experience every heartbreak in the same dramatic, heart wrenching way, then you’re not learning what you need to learn from life and from these relationships and you will continue to be tested until you get it right.

What’s the purpose of meeting your soul mate if you’re not full and happy and ready for them when they arrive? And then 10 years down the line, you have an epiphany of who your soul mate was meant to be and how your paths have crossed and probably won’t cross again in this lifetime. But by then it’s too late. And then you misuse the saying, “If it was meant to be, then it would’ve been.” Uhh, yeah…..no. While you were wasting time and energy grieving all of these relationships and not taking the time to self-evaluate and learn from them, God placed who you needed in your life exactly where they were supposed to be. But again you were too busy not learning, that you made your life partner pay for mistakes that others have made in the past and as quick as He placed that person in your life, he took them away. You weren’t ready to get over yourself and pay attention to your blessings and your true mate didn’t deserve to have only half of you.

So stop being afraid. Live. Take chances on people. And if they break your heart, it won’t be the end of the world. Cry about it. And then get up and figure out what you contributed to the relationship that caused it to end. And how you plan to do it differently the next time. It’s just another stepping stone to make you stronger and to bring you closer to your destiny. Every person you meet can’t be the one. Let them teach you whatever it is they need to. Everyone has a purpose in our lives and everyone we meet won’t be “lifetime” people.

Stop being so scared of life and love. They won’t hurt you. They’re not the enemy. It’s the people that we choose to give that “love and life” to that hurt us. And that’s our own fault for allowing that to happen. Place the blame where it should be. Give your all and love with your whole heart, just remember to keep some for yourself. When it’s meant for you to become “one” and share your life with somebody, that’s the time to give all of yourself to another. And as they say, “Stop making permanent decisions, with temporary people”.

 

Follow Nique @20Something85

Overcoming the Struggle Within Yourself

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contributed by Kaydee

Sometimes in life you have to be a vessel for yourself. Gone are the days of crying into your pillow at night because you don’t know how the countless bills will get paid. Gone are the days of putting yourself down thinking you are not worthy to receive God’s blessings. The days of looking in the mirror disappointed with what you see are over. The pity parties you’ve been throwing, hosting, and attending every year are gone.

Let God into your life. Let the blessings of God consume you and lift you up. If you don’t have a job; speak employment into your life. When you struggle to make ends meet; speak a blessing into your life. Kneel down on your knees and pray to God. Give him your struggles, give him your restless mind, & give your heartache to God. Watch God take ahold of your life and spill blessings all around you. For all the bad days know that God has the good days and nights just right around the corner.

It’s not enough to seek him when you are in need. Seek God when you’re having one of your best days; and even then pray for someone you know is not having as good as day as you are. God knows what makes us cry, what keeps us awake at night, what causes us stress, and what causes that annoying headache we get way too often. All he is waiting for is his one-on-one time and complete and full submission. Yes it’s scary to know that you WILL leave some behind. But we cannot hold the hands of those who decided to walk a different path. Simply put it just doesn’t work that way.

Cut those ties and move on with life. Either those people will catch up one day or wander aimlessly on the path they decided to take. It’s not as if you are writing them off, but you must take care of your life and soul before you can take on the struggles of others. In baseball don’t the players start at the home base? Well that is exactly what you must take care of first: home. Only you can decide when enough is enough. Only you can make changes in your life that you will benefit from. As young adults we will make many mistakes but with God on your side those mistakes can become life lessons. Without God those mistakes will just become another bad day, bad dream, bad reality, and just flat out a bad headache.

#Motivation

Neutrals
Every now & then many of us get a lil un-enthuzed on the road to health and fitness. Whether your body isn’t changing fast enough for your liking or perhaps you’ve hit a plateau -we sometimes get discouraged to continue the journey. Well one of my fit-spirations, @FollowTheLita took it upon her self to help us out & kick us out of our funk!

Excellence Over Good

If you stop when you’re satisfied with good you may never know what excellence feels like. Sometimes a little accomplishment distracts us from excellence!

The Lack of Black in Fashion

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contributed by Verity Reign

Hey, darling loves! Here’s one of my recent posts to HelloBeautiful—-the definitive lifestyle resource for today’s Black woman. Enjoy!
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Why I (and Women Who Look Like Me) Am to Blame for Fashion’s Lack of Black
By: Verity Reign

It’s no surprise that when it comes to the world of mainstream fashion and beauty, our rich hues are very scarce. It’s been this way since the beginning. Growing up, I don’t remember too many brown models. As with each generation, there were a few tokens—ImanNaomi and Tyra—that were constantly recycled in fashion and beauty campaigns, as if there was a shortage of qualified Black women on the planet to choose from. Every now and then we’d catch a new face, but the buzz around her was so quiet that you barely remembered her name. In 2013, the story hasn’t changed much. #TeamBeautiful’s Ty Alexander wrote, “There is just a small list of designers (Tracy Reese, Carolina Herrera, Rachel Roy, and Diane von Furstenberg) that consistently cast black models to represent their collections during New York Fashion Week. For the most part, we are still merely tokens on the runway.” And while we appreciate these woman designers representing us on their runways, the bulk of their models are still White—which I find a bit strange since they’re all ethnic.

An article on Jezebel went as far as to break down the ethnic stats of models that walked in this year’s NYFW presentations. “Those shows presented 4,479 individual women’s wear ‘looks’ to buyers and press, representing 4,479 opportunities for a model to walk the runway or pose in a presentation. 3,706 of those looks, or 82.7%, this season were shown on white models. Asian models nabbed 409, or 9.1% of all the runway looks. Black models were hired for 270, or 6%. Non-white Latina models had 90 looks, or 2%. Models of other races wore 7, or 0.2% of all looks.” The article also lists 14 brands that felt it unnecessary to use any models of color at all: Araks, Assembly, Belstaff, Calvin Klein, Elizabeth & James, Gregory Parkinson, Holmes & Yang, J Brand, Jenni Kayne, Juicy Couture, Louise Goldin, Lyn Devon, Threeasfour and Whit.

Reflecting on the lack of Black, and color in general, at NYFW infuriates me. Considering that this enormous world we live in is mostly comprised with people of color, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse that models of color didn’t even make up 50%, or 35%, or even 20% of the runway looks. People of color came in at a pathetic total of 17.3% *blank face, side eye*. You’ve got to be kidding me! Designers certainly are to blame; and while I’d love to attack them and call them out for their lack of appreciation for brown people and brown dollars, I dare not point the finger because we’re equally to blame. I hate admitting it, but it’s true; and I’m one in the guilty number.

With specific regards to Black people, who totaled a low of 270 right after Asians with 409 (I know. I was shocked too), high-end designers flood our culture—from our closets to our Hip-Hop and R&B lyrics. Michael Kors, Marc Jacobs and Hervé Léger are some of the most commonly mentioned brands in urban culture, but when I visit each of these fashion house’s websites, I can count the models of color between all of them on one hand and I still have four fingers left over. You do the math. And the one I did count is Asian, in case you’re wondering. Unless I miscounted, which is possible due to my quick skim, or the models are extremely light skin with Eurocentric features–which is also possible due to society’s racial identity complexes, these designers don’t seem to be as into us as we are into them. There are countless others in addition to these that we love to Twitpic and Instagram, but for the sake of time and my limited word count, I won’t compile the unpleasantly long list.

You know the saying, “people treat you the way you allow them to?” Well it couldn’t ring more true in the case of beauty and fashion. If we don’t think enough of ourselves to call out designers and beauty brands for their lack of us, then we really can’t complain when we see little to no people who match our complexion on the runways—as in the case of Alexander Wang who showed one Black model of his 39 looks and Alice + Olivia who featured zero Black models of 34 looks. The time is past due for us to start taking our dollars  elsewhere until the same designers we support do a better job of reciprocating the love. There are a host of Black designers we can support who are just as talented, but working 1,000 times as hard as their counterparts to get put on. But that’s a different story for a different day.

Do you feel we are to blame for the lack of Black models and others of color on the runway? Share your thoughts!
Stay in touch and follow me on Twitter: @VerityReign

**find more articles from Verity Reign here

Personal Growth pt.2

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contributed by Kaii

In a previous article from 2012 I wrote these words:

 

My definition of personal growth consists of finding out who you really are and the person you are destined to become. It’s not easy to do of course and this definitely takes time. In order to experience personal growth you will find that some people in your life will be left behind. Not everyone will want to grow up and put childish things aside, this is where you must separate yourself in order to find yourself. Your road to success should involve only those who desire to be successful as well. People who deal with drama, hate, and negative attitudes should be politely dismissed from your social atmosphere. God did not create us in a package, we were all made separately, and separation as we all know is a part of life.”

 

Now in year 2013 I still agree with my previous statement and I have grown even more than before. I have learned to keep to myself and possibly a small number of people. I contact my loved ones on a regular basis. Well, I definitely try to. I socialize at work, keeping that to a minimum. Other than that I tend to keep to myself, focusing on establishing a relationship with my man. Also, I’m working on continuously nurturing my relationship with God.

 

It’s not about cutting people off or changing who you are. It’s about growing and transitioning, two things that we must go through in order to progress in life. The people in your life have to understand your mental grow. If they do not want to even try to understand you have to let them go. In time when they experience the same or similar phase in life they will then understand. Your mental growth is vital to the adulthood phase. During this stage in life you should have solid goals and plans to reach those goals. You should know the person that you are and the things you want in life. Having a 5 year plan can also help the transition be a smooth one.

Yeah, it coulda been worse

Plums

I’ve really been getting lost in the world of youtube lately -if you’ve been following me on twitter you know it’s pretty much all I was posting while the site was down! Well my favorite youtubers aren’t slowing down so neither will my tweets PLUS you’ll see them here!

Check out the most recent “food for thought” from Spoken Reasons

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