contributed by Nique

You may look at that question and say, “Hell yeah, who wants their heart to be broken?” Of course no one does. But I’m not asking if you LIKE your heart being broken. I’m asking if you’re afraid of it. Are you passing up guys/girls because you suspect that the only inevitable conclusion with this person is heartbreak? Are you ending relationships too quick because you think there is no way things will ever get better and a quick escape is the best escape? Are you sticking to your significant other like white on rice because you feel like as soon as you let that person out of your sight, they will surprisingly become the clumsiest person in the world and then miraculously trip and fall “into” the first female they set eyes on, or the first man that notices your girl will lose their balance and “fall” into said girl (if ya know what I mean)? If one or all of these are true, then yes, you are afraid of heartbreak. A big ol’ scaredy cat.

The next question I pose to you is, why? Have you not had your heart broken before? Did you die from it? Did you perish? Did it inconvenience your existence on this Earth in any way? No, it didn’t. You moved on, either by learning to enjoy yourself or moved on to someone else. But then you create posts on every social media website about how “I’m a survivor”, “You didn’t break me, I’m still standing”, “I’ve been through the storm, but I made it” and a host of other statuses that lets the world know that you’ve just been through a traumatic, personal ordeal and you made it through. And then your relationship status goes from “In a Relationship” to “Single”, the famous indicator that all of those vague and subliminal statuses were about the end of a relationship, and not the fact that you just suffered a REAL issue and made it, like you know, cancer or something you could actually die from. So again, I ask why are you so afraid of it. Unless God has destined you and your soul mate to meet as soon as you become old enough to date and you guys get married and live happily ever after, then understand that heartbreak is inevitable.

And the MOST important thing to understand about the inevitability of heartbreak is that you should never experience it in the same way. You shouldn’t be as devastated as you were the last time someone broke your heart. You shouldn’t cry as long as you did when the last person walked out of your life. It’s meant to get easier. It’s meant to aid in preparing you for the world and the many types of people that you can encounter. It’s meant to humble you enough that when you do finally meet your “person”, you will be able to appreciate them all the more because you know what the world really has to offer. If you experience every heartbreak in the same dramatic, heart wrenching way, then you’re not learning what you need to learn from life and from these relationships and you will continue to be tested until you get it right.

What’s the purpose of meeting your soul mate if you’re not full and happy and ready for them when they arrive? And then 10 years down the line, you have an epiphany of who your soul mate was meant to be and how your paths have crossed and probably won’t cross again in this lifetime. But by then it’s too late. And then you misuse the saying, “If it was meant to be, then it would’ve been.” Uhh, yeah… While you were wasting time and energy grieving all of these relationships and not taking the time to self-evaluate and learn from them, God placed who you needed in your life exactly where they were supposed to be. But again you were too busy not learning, that you made your life partner pay for mistakes that others have made in the past and as quick as He placed that person in your life, he took them away. You weren’t ready to get over yourself and pay attention to your blessings and your true mate didn’t deserve to have only half of you.

So stop being afraid. Live. Take chances on people. And if they break your heart, it won’t be the end of the world. Cry about it. And then get up and figure out what you contributed to the relationship that caused it to end. And how you plan to do it differently the next time. It’s just another stepping stone to make you stronger and to bring you closer to your destiny. Every person you meet can’t be the one. Let them teach you whatever it is they need to. Everyone has a purpose in our lives and everyone we meet won’t be “lifetime” people.

Stop being so scared of life and love. They won’t hurt you. They’re not the enemy. It’s the people that we choose to give that “love and life” to that hurt us. And that’s our own fault for allowing that to happen. Place the blame where it should be. Give your all and love with your whole heart, just remember to keep some for yourself. When it’s meant for you to become “one” and share your life with somebody, that’s the time to give all of yourself to another. And as they say, “Stop making permanent decisions, with temporary people”.


Follow Nique @20Something85

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