contributed by Nique

My sorrow is overwhelming….

It overtakes me on the oddest of days

It surprises me

Catches me off guard when all I want is to just be

I don’t mind being unhappy at times

It’s ok to be a little melancholy

And I wish life would just let me have these moments

Keep the sorrow

I have substitutes

Keep the sadness

I have plenty of backups

Because of you I find myself having to savor the simplest of moments just to remind myself that life is worth living

I close my eyes tight five minutes before I wake up because I know once my eyes open, you’re not far away

I drive in silence on my way home because I know any minute now you will surely make your appearance

I want to live

I want to love

I want to make it possible to be loved

My entire being is screaming on the inside

Scratching at the seams

And my entire life is an out of body experience

I see the smiles of others and have to wonder what that feels like

And then I try to smile, and it just feels all wrong

I see happy couples and find myself daydreaming about what it would feel like to make someone laugh and look at me like that

I shouldn’t have to wonder

I should be done with daydreaming

And I should know what it means to really smile and it should be as easy as breathing…

When will it be my turn?

And when my turn comes around, would I even recognize it?

Probably not

I’m a masochistic person by nature

It’ll probably pass me right on by….

…..story of my life

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