contributed by Nique
My sorrow is overwhelming….
It overtakes me on the oddest of days
It surprises me
Catches me off guard when all I want is to just be
I don’t mind being unhappy at times
It’s ok to be a little melancholy
And I wish life would just let me have these moments
Keep the sorrow
I have substitutes
Keep the sadness
I have plenty of backups
Because of you I find myself having to savor the simplest of moments just to remind myself that life is worth living
I close my eyes tight five minutes before I wake up because I know once my eyes open, you’re not far away
I drive in silence on my way home because I know any minute now you will surely make your appearance
I want to live
I want to love
I want to make it possible to be loved
My entire being is screaming on the inside
Scratching at the seams
And my entire life is an out of body experience
I see the smiles of others and have to wonder what that feels like
And then I try to smile, and it just feels all wrong
I see happy couples and find myself daydreaming about what it would feel like to make someone laugh and look at me like that
I shouldn’t have to wonder
I should be done with daydreaming
And I should know what it means to really smile and it should be as easy as breathing…
When will it be my turn?
And when my turn comes around, would I even recognize it?
I’m a masochistic person by nature
It’ll probably pass me right on by….
…..story of my life