contributed by Sammie Jo
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past twenty three years (Soon to be twenty four – yikes!) and one of the lessons that always sticks with me is that point blank, I want what’s bad for me. Or should I say, if it’s good for me, I don’t want it?
If I’m at a restaurant, chances are I’m not going to drink water with lemon. If it’s a week night, may I have a sweet tea, please? If it’s a weekend, I’ll take a Bud Lite, por favor.
If I’m hungry after a long day at work, the last thing I want is a salad with grilled chicken and a side of light ranch (Don’t you hate it when you go grab a bite with other people and their ultra-healthy order makes you feel self-conscious?). I’m probably going to go for a hot, spicy, and cheesy quesadilla or a hamburger with fries.
Plain and simple, if it’s bad for me, I want it. If I want something, it’s usually bad for me.
This whole routine doesn’t just apply to food and beverages, it also applies to men. Unfortunately.
I have been going for “the wrong one” for a VERY long time.
In middle school when James C. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent…and the guilty!) asked me to dance at the Valentine’s Day Dance (Come to think of it, why the Hell was I at the Valentine’s Day Dance?! I’ve hated Valentine’s Day since middle school!), I told him “Hell no”, laughed in his face, and walked away. He proceeded to cry, making me look heartless. But really, why should I have danced with him? He was nice and he made straight A’s, and that’s not what I wanted.
The madness didn’t stop at that God-awful middle school dance. No, no, no. It continued into college. I had a great and healthy relationship, with a wonderful guy, but he wasn’t good enough. He got dumped. By me. Needless to say, we’re no longer on speaking terms and several of our mutual friends think I’m heartless. There I go with that “h” word again.
To me, it’s not being heartless, it’s doing what makes me happy. Although, there comes a point when making yourself happy gets a little ridiculous and this is where we get “the dilemma.”
You meet someone who is perfectly perfect for you. He makes you smile, he pays for dinner, he opens doors, he would do anything for you. Better yet, he has a JOB (Not something that’s all too common these days!), he has multiple cars, he has his own place, and he knows what he wants in life. But you, you sneaky She-Devil, find some fault with him.
His ears are too big. His ears are small but they stick out. His voice is too high pitched. His head is too small. You don’t like the way he laughs. He won’t eat vegetables – even if you offer to sauté them or fry them. He tried to correct your dog and it made you mad.
Can you tell I’m speaking from experience here?
This is where we need to step back, look at ourselves in the mirror, and realize that if these “faults” aren’t deal breakers we need to shut up, and just get over it.
For example, your personal deal breaker might be smoking. It might be that you won’t date someone who drinks a lot. There’s nothing wrong with not being with someone because they do something that grosses you out to the maximum. There is, however, something wrong with not giving someone a chance because he snorted once when you two were watching a really funny movie.
Bottom line: Nice guys DON’T come around every day. I know this because I’ve dated more jerks that I can count on my fingers, my toes, and probably all of your appendages too. I don’t want you to meet the same, unfortunate fate. Let’s take some of the “picky” out of picking our potential mates and maybe we’ll all be a little happier.
Just because something is good for you, doesn’t mean you’re not going to enjoy it.