This issues **Fab Mamacita** is none other than Blondie’s own Nique!! She shares her story of tears, trials and triumph with her bundle of joy BJ:
My first reaction when I was found out I was pregnant was fear and guilt honestly. Fear because I had previously had a child in high school and she died shortly after birth. I was scared that I was going to have to face the same tragedy. Guilt, because I found out after my first semester at Albany State. It was the beginning of my college career and everyone was proud of me. I felt that my pregnancy was going to disappoint them. After coming to terms with those things I remembered that God has a plan and a purpose for everything and he will never put more on me than I can bear. What’s for me will be for me. And my son was for me.
My family was not supportive at all. My father, who I look up to on a monumental level, did not talk to me for my entire pregnancy, which hurt the worst. My mom was just really sad. I think for the most part they just thought that I was going to drop out of school and move home, which was never part of my plans. My baby’s father was very supportive. When I found out and told him, he was living in Macon at the time, he applied to the technical college in Albany and made plans to go back with me for my second semester at ASU.
I loved being pregnant. I can’t really pinpoint exactly, but the feeling I have when I’m pregnant is indescribable. I’m always happy, always in a good mood. Unfortunately, I went into preterm labor this time also. I started contracting when I was 6 months. I went to the doctor for a regular checkup. After my checkup, my doctor told me not to go to class, not to go home, but to go immediately to the hospital and she’ll be there waiting on me. To say that those words didn’t scare the hell out me would be an understatement. All I could think of was, “not again.” I made it to the hospital and they were able to stop my contractions, but I had to be on bed rest for a month. I spent my 20th birthday and Christmas on bed rest and I missed all of my final exams.
My son came three days before the New Year when I was 7 months pregnant. The delivery went ok, except for the fact that I couldn’t be given any meds or an epidural because I was dilating too rapidly. My son was due on March 4, 2006, but he was born December 29, 2005. After my baby arrived, all I could remember feeling was relief. He was here and he was ok and healthy.
Struggles that I faced after he arrived were the late night phone calls from the hospital. Because my son came so early, he had to stay in the hospital so that his lungs could strengthen more and he can begin to eat on his own because he was being fed through a tube. I received numerous late night phone calls from the hospital causing me to rush to the hospital because my son would go back and forth with being able to breath and sustain any food.
As far as school goes, I went for the next spring semester after I had my son. I had to take my finals from the previous semester so that I would pass my classes and I took a couple of classes that semester. Between the late night calls and classes, it was really rough. On the upside, my family did a complete 180. They fell in love with my son immediately. After a month and a half my son finally came home with little to no longstanding issues.
What keeps me looking fabulous everyday despite my son being a handful is that I know that life is continuous. Life doesn’t slow down to wait for you to catch up, so why should I? My son would gain much more from an active, fabulous, social mom than one who lets the stress of life weigh her down. My son gives me life; I want him to know that without me having to tell him. Actions speak louder than words.
I still continue to work full-time and I am now in pursuit of my Master’s degree in Rehabilitation Counseling, all while raising my son who is now 5 years old. I’m loving life right now. No doubt it’s not easy, but anything that’s worth having is worth working hard for. And my son is definitely worth all the hard work.